October 31, 2005

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

I've been using that phrase quite a bit lately. I guess it's better than some of the other words I would like to be saying. I really don't want my children to talk so I'm always look for good phrases to use during times of frustration.

I want to thank everyone who has been posting messages to my blog! :) I'm trying to respond to all of them, but some of them bounce back to me. One day, real soon, I need to sit down and figure out how to do everything in my blog. I've thought of creating a really cool blog, you know those ones you have to pay for, with lots of cool graphics and stuff. But, I first have to get to the point where I am consistently keeping up with my blog. I just think some of the other blogs that I read look so cool! Mine is just so - blah. Anyway, I am reading all the posts made and appreciate them greatly, especially those great supportive comments. :)

I've been a little grumpy the last week. I think I'm just adjusting to adding a part-time job to the mix. I keep forgetting, people asked where I'm working and (drum roll) T*arget. I know, nothing fancy and I'm so not using my degree at all. But, I get to get out of the house (guaranteed) three times a week, be around and converse with other adults and make a little extra spending money. When we first moved here I worked there over Christmas and made a few good friends and had a good time. Also, I lost 10 pounds!! I'm hoping that will happen again. I guess just adding all that extra walking around made a huge difference. I volunteered to open every other Sunday morning to help set the ad. Well, I have to be there at 5 am!! Can you believe that S*tarbucks isn't even open yet!! Yesterday was the first day, and I thought I would just swing through on my way in, NOT OPEN - EEEKKK! Now I work at a SuperT*arget and there is actually a S*tarbucks located in the store, but of course they don't open until the store opens. :( So, I started my day with a P*epsi. Needless to say I was one tired girl last night, I fell asleep during my favorite show G*rey's A*natomy. :( I tried really hard to stay awake.

Can you all believe how quickly Christmas will be here?!?! I have usually started my shopping by now, I have one stinking gift - grr! Although, this year I decided we are going to draw names and that probably won't happen until Thanksgiving. But, that's no excuse I should have started S*anta's shopping by now. Oh well, I can't wait to get my decorations out. I LOVE Christmas.

Since I have decided to have my surgery that means putting my trip to Hawaii off. I'm on the fence about this one. We are only putting it off a year, but a part of me is still sad about it. It will be our 10 year wedding anniversary in July - yeah! :) We won't be in Hawaii celebrating. :( But, putting it off a year we will be able to still go with my best friend A and her husband who celebrates their 10 year anniversary just two short months after Nick and I do. And, if I get myself into shape I may just be able to wear that bikini my wonderful, dear husband so badly wants to see me in. :)

Cutting all these trips up to W*isconsin out has helped me keep a regular schedule of making it to the gym. And, that my friends makes me feel really good about myself. Now if only the fat would melt a little bit more quickly. I mean really is that asking too much!?!?

Ok, the dryer is done. My never ending laundry load is calling out to me. I hope you all have a wonderful Halloween!!!! I'll be back soon to post picutre of my favorite boys in their costumes. :)

October 26, 2005

Would you??

I can't believe I'm going to blog about this, but it is a huge decision I've made and I feel the need to get it out.

For those readers who don't know, 16 years ago I was shot - yes, with a gun. It is a long story for another time. But, due to that I had to have exploratory surgery and a temporary colostomy. Needless to say, I have a lot of scars. After having my three beautiful boys the scars are even more hideous, if that's possible. So, after YEARS of research I went and met with a plastic surgeon. I have decided to have plastic surgery to do something with my awful scars.

I understand that they are on my belly and I won't be walking around wearing belly shirts anyway. But, it's the point to me. I am still, after almost 10 years of marriage, self-conscious about my hideous scars around my husband. While he says he doesn't think they are that bad, they are, he is very supportive of me having the surgery.

A part of me feels like it's something I wouldn't want to share with others. But, it will help me feel really good about myself. And, if I can ever get my body into shape, I will at least have the option to wear a bikini on vacation if I want to venture down that road. Such a foreign thing to me. I haven't worn a bikini since I was 15 years old!

I know that getting rid of the scars won't ever erase that day from my memory. But, it won't always be a constant reminder every day when I'm taking a shower and getting dressed. I tried seeing several dermatologists because they've come out with so much new medical things that they can do for scars these days. Well, sadly my scars are just to old to do any of those things.

Would it be wrong to request a little lipo on my thighs while I'm there?? :) Just kidding, while I would love to have that done, I'm just to chicken to go that far.

October 25, 2005

Almost Halloween already!




Wow, I can’t believe it’s almost Halloween already! What are your children dressing up as this year? Ethan’s going to be a Power Ranger and Aidan is going to be Buzz Lightyear. Thanks to Krista with the great link to Disney Direct and the great shopping code I got an awesome deal on their costumes. I’m probably not going to dress Ian up since it appears it will be too cold for him to go out. I know I should be fun and dress him up while handing out candy, but anything on his head he will pull right off. If it appears that the weather will be nice enough (yeah right!), I will run up to T*arget and get him one.



Nick got some great pictures of Ethan and Aidan playing in the leaves at Nana and Papa’s house a couple weeks ago. We had a family get together with my mom’s side of the family and it was really nice. It’s always weird having “parties” at my parent’s house. They are so rare, since that is where I was shot and we were going to be having my brother’s graduation party that day. We all gathered in the family room to play Scene It when everyone started cracking jokes about not wanting to sit on the couch because it was bad luck. Ha! Ha! I was the one who sat in the same spot I was sitting in when I got shot, obviously new furniture. J Although, I think the jokes made my brother a little uncomfortable. It’s been sixteen years and he still can’t talk about it. You would think it happened to him and not me.

I’m really, really going to write more often and about things more openly. I worry a lot about offending some of my readers. This is, however, my blog and I need to write what I want to write. If someone doesn’t like what I’m writing about then they shouldn’t read. I need to be me. J I read so many good blogs where the blogger writes with so much passion and openness, I’m hoping to be able to follow by example. And hopefully write about some interesting things going on in my life.

I’m a liar and I’m going to hell! Well, I didn’t tell the lie, I made Nick do it for me. I was tired of driving up to Wisconsin for all these family get togethers. Last Saturday I was supposed to go back up again for a wedding shower. Now this would’ve been the fifth shower in the last year and a half. I am burnt on these gatherings. I was still getting over a cold and Ian had a bit of a cold. The shower was for a girl that is marrying Nick’s cousin. I just didn’t want to make the trip, so Nick told his Step-mom (who was giving her the shower) that Ian was sick and I couldn’t make it. He still made the trip up with the other two boys to help his brother work on his van. I know it’s really no big deal and I didn’t actually tell the lie, I couldn’t because I’m such a horrible liar. But, I still have feelings of guilt.

Aidan had a trip with his class to a pumpkin farm. I wasn't able to go on the hay ride, see/pet the animals, etc. because of Ian. Due to insurance liabilites. So, I took Ian to get his first look at pumpkins while we waited for Aidan's class to come back. Ian thought it was great and of course loved being able to crawl around in the dirt.



Ethan is home today from school with a fever – ick! He had a day off yesterday and it was wasted since he was sick. I’m hoping he gets better today or else we’ll be off to the doctor tomorrow. His fever started late Saturday night and has been going since. I’ve had two notes sent home from his school about two students having Strep throat. So far he hasn’t had a sore throat, which I know doesn’t mean he doesn’t have it. Keeping my fingers crossed that today will be a good day.

I guess not very exciting, but I will be talking about some interesting things in upcoming entries and have some questions for my few readers, so come on back!

October 7, 2005

And the clock keeps ticking

It is so easy to say I will write tomorrow, and not do it. I know I really don't have an exciting life, but I was hoping I would be posting more. I want to remember all of these day to day things that go on in my life. My children do so much every day that I'm just amazed by, and don't ever want to forget all the small details of the different events. Not to mention I think of all kinds of things on a daily basis that I could blog about but never get around to making a post.

Anyway, onto an update. I'm happy to report that Aidan's new medication regimen for his asthma is working wonderfully. It's so nice to not have to used the nebulizer on daily basis. His nose has since stopped running since starting the Claritin. It is so wonderful. Now, time will only tell if this is the solution. We have to wait until his first illness surfaces this winter to see if it progresses into an asthma attack that won't be treatable at home. Jon asked if I know of any web sites that provide good information on inhalers; I'm sorry to say that I don't. I'm not always so quick to research everything on the internet. I believe you can find information to favor any direction you want when searching. I am comfortable with all my resources, through personal contacts, ect., that we have provided the best course of action for my son. I have to say that I was a bit relieved that I didn't have to got to the internet to spend hours researching as I do with most other decisions.

Since Aidan's health has been great he has been attending preschool. Not missing a single day! He wants to go every day, and I sure wish he could. Not that I don't want to be with him, he just needs the entertainment. He sure misses not having his big brother around. It's nice to hear him talking about his friends at school. It will be such a huge deal for him when he starts having his own playdates and birthday parties. My baby is becoming such a big boy!

Ethan seems to be such years ahead of Aidan since starting kindergarten. I'm so proud of him, it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I am so amazed at how much he has learned and come even more out of his shell since starting school at the end of August. He went to preschool for two years and learned all kinds of little songs. He would never sing them in front of anyone. I only knew he learned them if I caught him in hiding somewhere in the house singing them. He sings on a daily basis now. :) Not that he's a good singer, but he's not afraid or shy to share with me what he's learned. His writing has just exploded. I'm still just blown away by how much they do in kindergarten now than they did when I started school. All right, no comments from the cheap seats. It wasn't that long ago that I was in school. To me preschool now is what my kindergarten was when I started school. I think he's still a little slow in the social aspect of school. My Ethan is just very shy and reserved. Now, once he comes out of his shell look out. But, he likes to just stand back and observe what's going on around him before entering a situation. I am very ok with this and think it's actually pretty smart. But, the mother in me worries tremendously about the social part of school. I have no doubts at all about the learning portion of schooling for Ethan. It's already very apparent that he is taking after his daddy in the brains department. I do know how important getting yourself established is when you're in school. I feel awful worrying about something like this, but I don't want my son to be the stand out kid who gets picked on throughout his school years. Now, I also don't want him to be a bully, somewhere in the middle would be just perfect. Someone can jump in anytime and tell me to stop being a worry worth.

Ethan also started playing soccer. He's been doing pretty good since Nick has started helping him practice at home. It's so cute watching all those little kids playing out on the field. There are only two girls on his team. One of them is an outstanding player. I was just saying the other night, "good for her, show those boys how it's done". He practices and plays two nights a week. They practice for 20 minutes and then play for 40 minutes. Now that it's cold I will probably stop going and just dad will so the baby doesn't have to sit out in the cold. It's also really nice to see Nick all involved. He took place for the coach one night when he had to leave early and had a great time. I told him he should think about coaching in the spring.

Onto my baby, Ian. Now 9 1/2 months - eek! I love all my boys with all my heart, but I have to say that I've enjoyed the baby time with Ian more than I did with Ethan and Aidan. I don't know if it's because I know he's my last and therefore I am paying attention and enjoying everything, every day. Maybe it's because I've been through this two other times and I'm WAY more relaxed about things that I am able to enjoy it all better. I know I didn't with Ethan because he was my first born and I was all uptight and nervous about everything. And, with his surgery and all the worries before and after make me feel a little cheated about my time I had with him as an infant. Then when Aidan came along Ethan was only 23 months and still required a lot of my time, so I didn't get a lot of one on one time with Aidan. It just has worked so well of Ian's timing. I must put down that I would NOT change a thing. I can't imagine not having Ethan and Aidan so close. It was/is hard, but so worth it. They will always have such a great bond!

Oh yeah, back to Ian. He is such a delight. I'm always being told what an "easy" baby he is, and it's so true. The crankiest he's ever been is when a tooth is ready to come through his gums, and who can blame him. I know I've said it before, but he is the GREATEST sleeper. I guess I always touch upon this one since I had two before that weren't the greatest in that area. I love putting him down at night and he sleeps all night. He's been pulling up on things a lot lately working on standing up. I guess that means this weekend I should have Nick lower the mattress in the crib in case he starts standing in there also. I don't want to worry about him falling out of his crib.

I started this post 24 hours ago and have yet to finish it, pathetic! Nick just came back from the movie store, so I'm going to go and see what he got for our viewing this evening. I am just going to post for now and hope I come up with something interesting soon to post soon.