Would you??

I can't believe I'm going to blog about this, but it is a huge decision I've made and I feel the need to get it out.

For those readers who don't know, 16 years ago I was shot - yes, with a gun. It is a long story for another time. But, due to that I had to have exploratory surgery and a temporary colostomy. Needless to say, I have a lot of scars. After having my three beautiful boys the scars are even more hideous, if that's possible. So, after YEARS of research I went and met with a plastic surgeon. I have decided to have plastic surgery to do something with my awful scars.

I understand that they are on my belly and I won't be walking around wearing belly shirts anyway. But, it's the point to me. I am still, after almost 10 years of marriage, self-conscious about my hideous scars around my husband. While he says he doesn't think they are that bad, they are, he is very supportive of me having the surgery.

A part of me feels like it's something I wouldn't want to share with others. But, it will help me feel really good about myself. And, if I can ever get my body into shape, I will at least have the option to wear a bikini on vacation if I want to venture down that road. Such a foreign thing to me. I haven't worn a bikini since I was 15 years old!

I know that getting rid of the scars won't ever erase that day from my memory. But, it won't always be a constant reminder every day when I'm taking a shower and getting dressed. I tried seeing several dermatologists because they've come out with so much new medical things that they can do for scars these days. Well, sadly my scars are just to old to do any of those things.

Would it be wrong to request a little lipo on my thighs while I'm there?? :) Just kidding, while I would love to have that done, I'm just to chicken to go that far.